redemption.

even though this is technically the most strenuous moment of my angsty teenage life, i somehow feel the most at peace i have in a long time. i know its all jumbled and its hard for me to get my brain around things but mixed in this jumble is the happiest moments of my teenage life too. i think ive clarified between the different parts of my life that made it me always worrying, stressed and all tightened up. sure, that is never going to go away but somehow now i think i feel a little more at ease, even if its just a little bit and i feel that i can go somewhere and that there is perhaps a better future out there for me because id rather strive for gold or nothing with no regrets even if the chances are lower than you can think, then be complacent with silver.