redemption.

havent blogged in a long time because i dont know what ive been doing with my life. theres no real alterations or complications, just maturing. but honestly, why does this always happens to me, i think im relationship incompatible or something, all my mates just things left, right and all the way down the fucking centre whenever a girl is involved with me, i dont know if its the way i look, or the way i act because the way i act i really dont know how anyone can get that impression of me. tbh, ive thought a lot about this sort of stuff, i work 5 days a week practically by myself outside making coffee and i just zone out and think to myself. the only way i can meet girls are at clubs these days, and lately my korean fetish has gotten the better of me and i  dont regret it in the slightest, but people see me and think dth , down to hook up, not oh, he looks like he'd make a good boyfriend, no ones dtr, down to relationship... LOL. i know im young, nineteen years old, still a fucking teen but ive never had a proper girlfriend and ive realised for a while now theres almost zero opportunities so im gonna be more confident. but still, if i tell my friends one thing, they assume the latter so what can i do. people just assume things from me when they never actually think about who, what, why.. i actually dont know where the fuck im going in life except that each day is just passing, getting simpler, lonelier and somehow more linear as i start coming to terms with my. reality.