redemption.

you.
you make me laugh when im feeling down. you make me smile when i see you smile. i want to hold you when i see you cry. i want to be there for you when you're feeling down. and i want you to type you're not your. and you make me love you when you love me too. sike. im not that corny.
but in all honesty, all i want is that satisfied feeling in my life, contentment. i want to be able to be happy and love a person openly. its fucking hard. theres all these small pressures in my life, and everytime something comes to beat me back down when i try to go up its painful. if you get hit to the ground enough times, you're not going to get up. whether its in school or in life, even when im with people i feel lonely, i feel like i dont belong. not belonging lol. when i see myself in a mirror its a joke and no matter how much i resist saying it, its not manly, no i dont want it, thats just in line with my gender/values... i feel uncomfortable saying things that i normally wouldn't, and its hard to be able to talk freely with anybody in my life. and as bad and selfish as it may seem, i just want to be happy.