redemption.

usually theres up and downs but at the moment its just one big down and im not sure when its going to stop. ive tried to trap myself in university but i cant get into it, theres not really anyone in my life at the moment. everyones pretty much on the outside of this little inner world, only visiting me irregularly. work opened up another little world to visit but its still not enough. i think ive just felt unsatisfied with life lately, theres just nothing in it and its actually just depressing. a lot more than anyone could think, more than just a motivational slump, its a life slump.every little thing that meant anything doesn't bring the same joy anymore, i play basketball but i lost the happiness in it. i game, even when i win theres no happiness in it and theres just nobody to talk to anymore. theres been times in my life where ive had no one to talk to for a few months but that was okay because there was always other stuff in my life, basketball, some game to play, schoolwork but now its just nothing. and nothings nothing. and when you feel like you've lost everything that ever mattered.. when you think back to times where you could smile, nothing but sadness left here.