redemption.

happy new years.
every year, every day even i try my best. i don't need a new year to tell me that i have to work harder for my goals, for things that i truly desire. my night was as dull as reflective as the past few weeks. sitting here thinking to myself, wishing that i had something to say something to, say anything to.

was reading someones blog and decided to do these.



a girl who's worth it.


someone who i can talk with and be completely comfortable. who i can talk with and don't have to force myself to talk to or talk with. moments of silence, laughter, chatter, they make me happy. where they won't judge me based on this or that, where they take me for the person they know me, not the person they heard i was. someone who can light up my heart when i see them, hear them, even see something they do not even related to me. when that someone can make me happy. where they love me without hesitation. someone who takes pride in who they are, who respects me, cares for me but most of all trusts me. who is beautiful in every aspect in my eyes because thats all that truly matters. someone who doesn't play around with other guys. someone who doesn't turn their back on you the second they hear something they don't like. where life isn't made into dramatic decisions, where its simple and happy.


those type of friends.
those friends who you know you can utterly trust with any secret. those friends who care enough about you to put an effort to keep you in their lives, and try to make you into a better person and aren't concerned about their own selfish needs. who don't blame you for their own faults, who would have your back and listen to you when times are rough, be there for you in the happy times and stay by you. someone who actually cares about you as a friend. thats all i need.

ps. those moments when i look through every single one of your blogposts i've made over the years. seeing how i've matured as a person, how my morals haven't changed and how i respect my past and present self for not changing those morals. no matter how depressing those memories may have been. how much pain i may have suffered and how much unnecessary conflict has flown through my life, i was able to stay strong and make it this far. thank you cameron.