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Archive for March 2011
i don't understand?
go fuck yourself.
people who tell me, i don't understand, i won't understand, don't worry due to the intention that they assume that i won't understand, all just go fuck yourself. people who think my level of intelligence is a joke, people who don't believe that i'm better than that, go fuck yourself. honestly, everything can go fuck yourself. im sick of it. ive been so close to breaking, and resisting, sometimes people need to release their anger on something, but sometimes little things aren't enough. question why theres so much anger? don't, life fucks everyone over and over again.
everyone feels bad when they try hard, and than don't succeed. that is one of the worst feelings in the world, when it becomes consistent, instead of getting teary from it, it just turns into hate. everythings tempting me.. for example, today at the bus stop there were two drunk guys, one had a beer and they were argueing and the other one grabbed his beer and shattered it across the pathway infront of us. the fumes of the disgusting smell of beer even became somewhat attractive. people say giving into temptation is bad, but no. if it can even give you a slight moment of happiness, i say its worth it. especially if you've had none. life has fucked me over again. i had to fill out a survey for 'interviews' with the principal and deputy, i honestly am sick to the limit with everything, and to make it worse i have nothing to do to do in my spare time. nothing fun, happy. if you read the content of my responses you would understand how much i hate my school and im not afraid to tell them. they'll mark me down for no legit reasons anyway, they screw me over over and over again. theres no words that i can say that can express my disgust. even beyond pathetic, cant even keep it professional. and hence, im back to these quesy awkward moments of life where im constantly questioning everything, even to the point im wondering about my existence, thats when you know its too much. why do i look from third person, why am i ... i long, crave for those moments of h
appiness, to experience that tingle, live for it. but sometimes, realising the end of those moments can be twice as hard. (:
go fuck yourself.
people who tell me, i don't understand, i won't understand, don't worry due to the intention that they assume that i won't understand, all just go fuck yourself. people who think my level of intelligence is a joke, people who don't believe that i'm better than that, go fuck yourself. honestly, everything can go fuck yourself. im sick of it. ive been so close to breaking, and resisting, sometimes people need to release their anger on something, but sometimes little things aren't enough. question why theres so much anger? don't, life fucks everyone over and over again.
everyone feels bad when they try hard, and than don't succeed. that is one of the worst feelings in the world, when it becomes consistent, instead of getting teary from it, it just turns into hate. everythings tempting me.. for example, today at the bus stop there were two drunk guys, one had a beer and they were argueing and the other one grabbed his beer and shattered it across the pathway infront of us. the fumes of the disgusting smell of beer even became somewhat attractive. people say giving into temptation is bad, but no. if it can even give you a slight moment of happiness, i say its worth it. especially if you've had none. life has fucked me over again. i had to fill out a survey for 'interviews' with the principal and deputy, i honestly am sick to the limit with everything, and to make it worse i have nothing to do to do in my spare time. nothing fun, happy. if you read the content of my responses you would understand how much i hate my school and im not afraid to tell them. they'll mark me down for no legit reasons anyway, they screw me over over and over again. theres no words that i can say that can express my disgust. even beyond pathetic, cant even keep it professional. and hence, im back to these quesy awkward moments of life where im constantly questioning everything, even to the point im wondering about my existence, thats when you know its too much. why do i look from third person, why am i ... i long, crave for those moments of h
appiness, to experience that tingle, live for it. but sometimes, realising the end of those moments can be twice as hard. (:
i feel the need to blog once again :D victory to the world, 80% of my exams are over, only have japanese speaking which shouldn't be too hard and chemistry theory on friday to study for, so im pretty chill. i'm just going to go on a massive rant about all the things that have been pent up inside, i'll try not to make it too boring by shoving in some lovely pictures or something. -opens up phone with my 10 blog notes.
my beloved purple, oh, i don't know what this note is about but its sorta true. do you ever feel the need to change, not because you suppose that something might get better but because you're sick of how everything is now. just utterly sick of it, you want more, desire more and when you start dreaming about it thats when you know you got to have it, got to have more. (:
oh my god that picture is beautiful.... MOVING ON, people were calling me miserable the other week before our exams. i fucking wonder why genius but ive said it again and ill say it before, just because im not smiling doesnt mean im sad. :\ im always misinterpreted. nobody ever seems to listen, and because of that ive sort of reserved myself and not listened back or more passively listened. sometimes you need to concentrate though, smiling isnt as pretty as its made out to be. :x oh wow, i have an angry one in here. i'll quote it exactly, ' you think everything okay after you fuck me over? i smile to overcome my own urge to hit you. its my way of coping. ' heh. :s guess i do feel like that sometimes. 
theres one in here where i was extremely pissed about my english teacher knocking off my thesis for my extension essay but its in the past. :\ i haven't got my mark back but i have a feeling its not going to be as amazing as i hoped it would be despite me remembering all 1300 words + extra quotes practically word for word. yes im not complaining but it was an effort. 
and finally, ill just chuck an idea out there. is it just me or do you get REALLY annoyed when you're looking at some pretty person and than BAM, some fat enormous slab of shit just plops itself down in front of you? no ? just me? fml. hahh, but honestly... please move for the sake of my happiness. [: 
i shall end here for the sake of all those who can't manage to keep reading for prolonged periods of time. heh. so long and farewell~ im off to melbourne on the 26th-30th for school basketball. hopefully it wont turn out so f'd up!oh and pardon my asian photo spam, its become a habit. :s
