redemption.

i don't understand?
go fuck yourself.

people who tell me, i don't understand, i won't understand, don't worry due to the intention that they assume that i won't understand, all just go fuck yourself. people who think my level of intelligence is a joke, people who don't believe that i'm better than that, go fuck yourself. honestly, everything can go fuck yourself. im sick of it. ive been so close to breaking, and resisting, sometimes people need to release their anger on something, but sometimes little things aren't enough. question why theres so much anger? don't, life fucks everyone over and over again.
everyone feels bad when they try hard, and than don't succeed. that is one of the worst feelings in the world, when it becomes consistent, instead of getting teary from it, it just turns into hate. everythings tempting me.. for example, today at the bus stop there were two drunk guys, one had a beer and they were argueing and the other one grabbed his beer and shattered it across the pathway infront of us. the fumes of the disgusting smell of beer even became somewhat attractive. people say giving into temptation is bad, but no. if it can even give you a slight moment of happiness, i say its worth it. especially if you've had none. life has fucked me over again. i had to fill out a survey for 'interviews' with the principal and deputy, i honestly am sick to the limit with everything, and to make it worse i have nothing to do to do in my spare time. nothing fun, happy. if you read the content of my responses you would understand how much i hate my school and im not afraid to tell them. they'll mark me down for no legit reasons anyway, they screw me over over and over again. theres no words that i can say that can express my disgust. even beyond pathetic, cant even keep it professional. and hence, im back to these quesy awkward moments of life where im constantly questioning everything, even to the point im wondering about my existence, thats when you know its too much. why do i look from third person, why am i ... i long, crave for those moments of h
appiness, to experience that tingle, live for it. but sometimes, realising the end of those moments can be twice as hard. (: