redemption.

i've been having cravings again. :\ esp. for basketball. at the end of lunch when the lunch bell goes it hurts to watch the ball go away, i wish i could play until i drop. (: i want to get better, jump higher, fly higher so much it hurts, knowing how little time i have. things are really just crammed, im too old. just too old. ): my basketball lifes ending, soon enough ill just be an old guy. too old to play anything, watching kids grow up, bored to hell. ;s edging on me already. i want to backboard pin, lebron james style, shannon brown, anyone. D: want people to see it, acknowledge that i can do it. know that a guy my height and my age in australia shouldn't be doing that. want people to know that ): but can't do it, grab the rebound and fast break for a dunk, dunking in traffic, facial dunk. :\ one thing, if just once i would be happy.
i was so addicted i got into basketball animes even, ok . and they made me really happy. downloaded them, watch it over and over. the intensity, the school life, fuck. it actually makes me cry. can't describe it, the need. i crave for that sense of fulfillment, happiness.