redemption.

theres two types of dreams: realistic dreams and unrealistic dreams. realistic ones, either short term or long term and than the unrealistic ones which you can barely imagine. im getting closer to just one of those (:

cameron's dream list:
1. [unrealistic] to play in the NBA. ever since year 7, i loved basketball, at first it was just a sport like soccer/swimming/tennis, just another sport i did but i grew up, dropped off those other sports and i dont regret a second of it. started playing in my backyard, at school, everywhere, than i moved on to watching NBA. those players are above everyone else, and in those players there are those who are above those who are already above everyone else. im not even tall enough to think about competing, if i was the height i am now and in NBA i would be one of the shortest point guards... and i can't be a point guard, i can't dribble well and ive played as a center basically every game ive ever played. :\ but look oh to be a center i have to grow another 30cm. heh. thats the only reason its unrealistic, in Australia everybodys so short, you look up to me and go hey look his a giant, no yao ming is a giant, everyone else your just short. thats one reason why i considered going to an american university just once, to be able to play the game at that elevated level, but i doubt i could even get into a college team there, i couldnt even make it into U18 reps, not even div 2.. thats as far as i go. people keep on going, hey are you that tall guy which is good at basketball? i am neither. get that into your head, good compared to your crappy friends which only play basketball to try to show off? tsch. i am dead serious about it.
2. [realistic] i want to be able to dunk in a basketball game. i am.. so close yet so far. every year i keep on saying, ill be able to dunk by the end of the year, end of the year. i don't have many years left, well probably less than 1 but i will work hard, never give up to i can get there, just watching NBA helps me improve, sure people might think otherwise but ... i love it ok. ;s
3. [realistic] a lebron james chase down block. everyone who reads this will probably not even care about the last three points i've said let alone know what im talking about, but thats what i think about everyday, everyday im on the court, everyday i look up at that 10 ft ring trying to reach higher and higher. (:

4. [-] theres this thing called marriage, i don't know who came up with it, why it needs to be but thats how society operates today.. so one day i want to marry someone.. just one day, everyone does. this is the most improbable realistic thing for me at the moment. im not confident in almost everything i do, im not good with people let alone girls, and im just hoping, that i can change enough by university to meet someone who i can spend the rest of my life with. that is if the world doesn't roll over into some new age where everythings different but you never know ;x

yeah well.. thats the only really important goals/dreams/aim whatever you want to call it right now. and ill work to those, little by little.

--> from this point on, i shall forget all negatives behind me and move forward. (: thats my resolve.