redemption.

i've been getting annoyed by lots of little things so i think i'll make a hate list (: it could go on forever but ill just make this one pretty long :L

cameron's hate list (:
1. i hate it when i get left out of things D: sure, sometimes i might not always want to come but at least ask me don't just assume that everytime! and its even worse if you forget about me on purpose, but than i guess its not forgetting :L

2. when people who aren't really depressed/sad say they are over some fucking stupid reason, it really pisses me off, and when i look at the person i just want to punch them in the face. (: but if i do that my stupid school will suspend me because its zero tolerance to violence, even if someone punches me in the face, ill get suspended if i punch him back. freaking bullshit D: sure its ok to get depressed over doing bad in tests, but if you didnt study for them? shut the fuck up. don't complain about it if you didnt try you only get the mark you can get from the amount of effort you put into it.

3. people which smile all the time, or laugh something off when they do something stupid. its even worse when they have a really stupid laugh. gosh, i feel so violent today. :L

4. when people ask me what sort of music i listen to , or what sort of anime i watch, thats private stuff ok? and for some reason, i dislike people watching/listening to the same things as me. that is private stuff ok? go find your own ones, sure if i like something and i feel like sharing it with you, i will but dont go dissing anything i do, i like it, you think its lame ? well i dont care.

5. i dont care about anzac day, im getting angry at more teachers everyday.. my japanese teacher is ok, but im just bad at jap anymore its getting less fun, i cant remember all these things and im not willing to put in 2 hours a day to remember it and even if i did, i dont reckon i could do it properly. theres always a limit like - you do this much and you'll get the best out of the time you put in, anymore time than that and it won't help you much, maybe 1 mark but its better spent doing something else at this stage. okkk, back on to stupid teachers. in the first week of schools teachers have called me depressed, strange, disturbing and rude. the economics teacher pissed me off the most, he doesnt even teach and he thinks he can talk to me like that? gosh. i swear one day im going to just tell him everyone knows he cant teach, all he does it talk about his weekend and we have to waste all our free time studying this subject because of his incompetence. and chuck in a few big words in there to make it sound better (: im terrible at english so id have to prepare a rage speech ahaha. :L

6. being called white, gwai lou or any other form like that. first of all, i dont even like white people, you know when your little kids you dont even look at people for their races, well for me it didnt carry over to when im older, in general for white people 90% of them are assholes and i dont want to know them, asians most of them got issues but i feel more comfortable around them and black people ... gosh. i love the black people, not love love but love them. (: i use to be scared of them, but now i respect them, esp. ones which play basketball. you know when your little you have a role model etc. :L mines lebron james/dwight howard just if anyone cared.
currys/brown people, im sorry, i dont like you at all, only reason ill talk to you is if i have to, and id rather just be somewhere else 85% of the time. for girls, i think im only attracted to asians ;o maybe very very few white people and thats about it. D: i just can't link with white people... its like we're worlds apart, gosh that sounds like some corny line from something. but its in a different context so its ok.

7. not being able to play basketball at morning/recess in the gym because the teachers won't let us cus some stupid kid got themselves hurt, fuck up let me play. im not some idiot and its more dangerous outside on the concrete, you dont supervise us there so why do you care if we dont have supervision inside, lol supervision looks funny written. maybe i spelt it wrong. i should petition to the src to let us play on morning/recess its wasting a lot of my free time. D: i love basketball, i hated how my games got cut down to 1 a week... i wasn't even satisfied with 3 games a week, 1 is just painful. least now i have fridays free, not that theres anyone who would go out with me or i want to go out with them to do something. ;s bleurgh.

8. being judged over stupid things, oh look your from nsb, your smart. ok once as a joke, but over and over? i'm not that smart, sure i was smart enough to get in year 6, beating all those stupid white guys because i went to coaching and i didnt have many friends, and i still dont gosh . not any close ones, i had one close friend and yeah he was white, but he went to vietnam for 2 and a bit years and than came back and moved away... its amazing how things change overtime.

9. people making fun of how i look D: alright, i know im not freaking that guy who attracts everybody... uhh oh yeah cassanova, and his white :L yucky. D: i like my hair the way it is, well i don't like it :\ but i can make it nicer if i put into effort, but i still think bad of myself a lot. im very self conscious ok, and im pretty shy. D: get over it , i dont like the beach because of it and i dont go out much either dont meet many people dont do lots of things OK. im trying to move past that :x this is like my realisation point after coming back from greece/turkey/dubai i had a lot of time to think about all these things.

10. body hair. its disgusting, i have hair all over my body and its disgusting, least its not as bad as lot of other people but i still hate it. why the hell is our body designed to be so hairy... we aren't monkeys... and thats a rhetorical questions. how am i meant to know, do you want me to actually answer questions like that? why am i so cold... uhh because you dont have a jacket on? im bored.. what do you expect me to do about it, im not a fucking clown and even if i was i probably couldnt entertain you. D:

yeah, well i have to go to my grandparents now for dinner for some celebration. my list ends there for now (: don't hate me for hating, you didn't have to read it, i just had to put it down for some reason, blogs are like... you want people to read it but you sort of dont. you know what i mean? hah, probably not. why did i even ask. lala. another why question. _ off to waste the rest of my long weekend now.