redemption.

We get old real quick, went from a teenager when I was started blogging here to an adult. The slice of life animes I used to watch have turned into life. Between the ongoing pandemic and life, time truly flies by and things that felt like yesterday were 3, 5, 7+ years ago. 

Memory works strangely. In general, I have a poor long term memory but there are some memorable things that don't seem that memorable in general, but are there. Whether they are memories that maybe are there because it was at a hard time in my life, or joyful too, I am just grateful to be able to have these memories with the people I care about.

It's been over four years since I lost my best friend and the pain won't ever go away, that feeling that I should have, could have done more while there was still time which is why I try to treasure every good moment I have, whether it is as small as playing a video game with a friend, having a chat with my family or wife, thinking about the future... the ability to think about the future. 

The larger things that used to give me happiness have changed completely, there are different senses of responsibility and living and people's behaviour towards myself distanced yet it doesn't affect me like it used to. Grateful for that and everything I have. 

I am slowly changing but want to be able to become a better natured person, not just to those near me but in general. I'll get there slowly I hope.