redemption.

im still shaking. i keep telling myself everythings alright but im still shaking. i really feel alone in this world. the times when friends and family cant tell. i put up that visage that im normal, that im not the one hurting here. that everything that should hurt doesnt but it does. men are meant to be strong but in reality theyre weak. i cant show that weak side. im unable to infront of people anymore. everyone thinks they understand but no one understands except myself. im alone on this journey and the worlds against me, with sacrifice comes pain in the hope of some form of enlightenment. temporary or permanent.

my heads still pumping. my thoughts still running, on a treadmill at 20 with no stop button. i cant communicate. is my english that bad. am i unable to communicate the intensity of emotion or simple logic through my speech. am i fucking retarded? people say solve things through words, but im stuck inbetween losing myself for the sake of others. what is more important, myself or others. should i sacrifice myself for the expense of others. lying. sin. truth. it blurs. the only thing i can hold true to is myself and my logic, morals and feelings. my own choices. i will standby them to the end because that is me. can one person change another if they cant change themselves. all i have is confidence in myself and what i believe in now and i ask myself am i enough.