redemption.

i wish i had a beautiful place, waterfall or something where i can just lie and relax. i've become stuck lately. wishing for things to happen, nothing happening... people always say the guy has to take initiative in things, not just in relationship-like things, just anything. it makes me just sit here sometimes and think, why bother when effort only turns into...

well, was reading a friends blogpost, made me think some more... i try to live a life with no regrets but inevitably thats impossible. even now im regretting being at home. im regretting so many things at once its hard to hold in. everyone has their problems, and although you want to help your friends with their problems sometimes its just hard handling everyones problems. i've been doing it all my life, never shouldering my problems with others and accepting theirs. my friend was telling me, you and me we both got problems, don't try to think they're any different. we all still feel the same. don't try to think your pain or my pain is any harder. your problem or my problem is any harder. everyone has been through tough experiences. but in the end, regret turns you into a better person, it makes you able to differentiate between right and wrong, between good and bad, between what you truly believe is right.

they also said never having your first kiss at 16, never being in a relationship.. its funny how im 18. never had a girlfriend too. when i see people around me going at it, all coupley and shit it shifts my thoughts a little but not in the same way. like my wonderful friend was telling me once again, theres no point being in a relationship with a girl unless she's the one. if you really love her and if you know she's the one then no one can tell you otherwise. i wonder if im waiting for that. :\ don't even know what im doing lately.

time just flying by, literally alone.