redemption.

anyone ever have those times when you're just sick of the shit, need to go take some time to yourself. even if its only 10 minutes. you need to clear your head from all the shit thats going around you. people keep assuming things about you, people keep doing things around you 'unconsciously' that hurt you and when you just feel down, you're just out of the game. you know when you're out of the game when you take 30 minutes to walk to your car, little kids are overtaking you and you're singing random sad made up songs when you can't even sing.. hypothetically speaking. that person musn't have a nice car either if they're doing something sad like that. it probably needs to be cleaned, and they probably need to stop venting their stress by speeding and overtaking randoms for the slim chance that they might fuck up and end up in hospital where somebody might actually come and visit you and realise all the shit you've been through or hope that someone's secretly following you listening to your sorrows and might just give you a great big hug from behind. how f'ing cute... jokes. that would be a strange hypothetical situation.

but yeah legit. it honestly feels like im talking to myself. people don't really make an effort to talk to me unless they expect something out of me or because they just ran out of other people to talk to, this isn't hypothetical. i can just lay there for hours wondering whether anybody ever thinks about me the way i think about them. probably only the ones which i want to smack in the face, that probably goes both ways. or maybe im just messed up like that, but i can't hit people in the face, assault, i might go to jail! nah i'm lost for what to say properly now. work my thoughts away, everyone keeps saying after hsc after hsc, honestly, nothing is going to change for me after hsc. some things are better left unblogged.