redemption.

contrary of what everybody may think, i am fine. (: when you have a moment like this you're meant to be like, oh, and have those massive reflections but that already happens to me everyday. i sort of thought it was still a dream while i sat outside of the principals office for 3-4 hours. heres my rant of what was going through my head at the time. i tend to note important things down on my phone. :D

i'll start with the start. on the 8th of february at 10:21am i just broke. i had enough of the shit people in my school, teachers, everyone has given to me. everything, just everything was too much. usually i can take it, but i just snapped and told the teacher to just fuck off as i went out of the room. i'll skip the details, in any other normal unprejudiced school that would be a detention or after school detention at the most, but look at me now, im suspended for two days.
brought me back to thinking, i respect her, i had nothing wrong with her, any teacher or person for that matter, i give them my respect until such a time in which they choose to abuse it, i learnt that, it holds true. but she abused it. she neglected all her teacher responsibilities, victimised me infront of the class and she got whats coming to her.

this brings me to the saying "the teachers are always right". yeah, sure you have to face that in our education system, but abuse is too much. im not going to let someone tread over my life just because they think they can, im not a kid anymore, im seventeen and i can make my own decisions. teachers are only human too. i felt that it they honestly don't care about our education, this teacher especially, they just follow procedures and protect each other to satisfy the hole they're missing in their lives. students, teachers, we're all human, we have feelings alright.

i don't know how many times i used the word pathetic yesterday, but just to note, if i use the word pathetic about anyone, its the worst insult i could possibly give, to anybody.

on a slightly more happier note, i've noticed to really listen to song lyrics now, they use to be just a mash of beats and sounds now its more meaningful..? :L
i also noticed that the only reason i smile in circumstances with people i don't like is because it brings back memories of other times i spent when i was actually having fun with people, and it reminds me of it. [:

but honestly, i don't feel a thing. sure, people smile when they're happy, laugh when they find something funny, cry if they're sad. but now i think about it, its more of an action than an emotion to me. :x

on to learning conics by myself! [: