redemption.

change.

i saw someone ask me about this on formspring a while ago and than someone asked a friend the same question and ive been trying to wrap my head around some concepts for a bit so i think i'll talk about change, get some things out there instead of my one line blogs which should be saved for tumblr. haha. :D i need to get a tumblr.

i think that change is inevitable over time, especially when your growing up, nobody stays the same forever. they're exposed to the harshness of reality!

in particular for this friend, i don't know him very well but i would believe it when he says he hasn't changed, he looks like that kind of person and when i first met him he was really nice (: people always judge others off various things from how they look, how they act, their friends etc. its undeniable that anyone who reads this has not thought about at least one of those things when thinking about a person. its just human nature, like the need to belong LOL. omg. belonging D: haha. but really, think about it.
people put on persona's for certain things occassionally, but they're still the same person.
people may not be thinking straight and say things they regret, but they're still the same person.
people may change, but they're still the same person.
they're core values, integrity and moral/ethic values are still in ground in them, even when you haven't seen someone for a long time, can't recognise them, they're still the same person okay! get it into your head, you can tell from looking at a person whether they've changed or not. some of it comes with growing up, some of it from surrounding factors but you can still tell, if they pass that definite line, they've changed. get it? x) probably dont . haha.


sometimes theres certain things you can't get over, can't get past. for me, i am indecisive thats a fact and will never change. i am never sure about anything i do, even to the simplest maths questions. i can never make a decision about everything, its going to haunt me for the rest of my life. whether im a little kid, or whether i am where i am now. you ask me things in different views such as little kid, what do you like better, this or that? (crayons or something), me now, what do you like better, this or that? (anything relevant) i'll still be unsure.
i have problems committing; myself to one idea.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
John 15:13

its true, its hard to find true friends, ones who you can trust without a doubt, not even ones, just one would be enough. to have one true friend is all that one can ask for in this world, but the willingness to give yourself openly to another, sacrifice yourself is what it takes to be a true friend. i trust in myself, trust in others but sometimes as life goes after constant betrayals of trust you find it hard to find confidence in things, you make way to new friends let them in, break your heart again. i can love friends, its not refined to some small clinical ideal like partnership love. its just another concept. the friends that i believe in are the ones who i can trust, i know some friends i can trust for certain things, others with others, however there is still none who i can trust completely thats just how it works!
i wish that god would talk to me and just give me that answers, thats what we all hope for.