redemption.

ive been studying like the good boy i am, well not particularly hard. :L you know its hard to gather motivation in times like these you know?
want the good news or the bad news or just my rant first? (: no answer? D: leave me hanging here people, nah. i'll go... bad news first. most people like a happy ending right? (:

i'm almost crying for my friend D: they had to cut off 30cm of her beautiful hair. 30cm. 30cm. do i need to say it again. 30cm. thats all ill say for it. :\
anyways, more bad news ! yipee. :x i lost both basketball games, and im a bloody 2 point scoring magnet. scored 2 points in the first game against randwick which we lost 52-39 and 0 and fouled off in third quarter against shore 91-46. people which blame the refs are.. and i know im not meant to argue with people stupider than me so . D: but sometimes it just gets to you, you know? to be honest, i almost fucking cried again when i came off on that last foul. it was the most bullshit call i have ever been called for. i was boxing out someone, and than some other guy just freaking jumps from no where i didn't even see him, he like jumps on my back punches it or something and than goes slams on the floor. i wasn't even moving. and i get a foul for what?... anymore bad news.. uhh. i screwed up in japanese speaking! :L and english creative, or did i already say that... probably did (:
i have lost my motivation to play basketball competitively, there are just too many people out there better than me, i can't carry my training practice into a competitive situation, i practice a lot, it keeps me happy and calm and when im in a rhythm everything goes down for me, i get into a game, can't drop one ball in the ring. not even one. i just have to face reality, im not even good enough to make it into a division one team, i can't jump, i can't dribble, i can't shoot and i can't rebound. what use is there for someone. i'm not even average in it all now, i swear, you put me up against some guy my height who hasn't played anywhere near as much he'll school me, all i got is my height, people keep saying that and i was denying it, but look , i go verse people taller than me, and obviously the way they play, when im feeling good im better than that, but i can't even outplay somebody else my height? i'm also too thin. they're all tanker than me, tank, tank tank tank everywhere i look is a huge white guy, asian guy, black guy. everywhere. i'm not made to get big.

okay. onto side fringes. :D yay, the side fringe. its elegance and infallibility is proven in such characters as every single pretty person out there. (: haha. nah, non side fringes can look okay too, depending. but i think i have an infatuation with them. sometimes i just look at someone and go... they would look 10x better with a side fringe. i've seen lots, been through lots, and definently so much nicer. :L i remember when i was little boy, my parents were like omg. gel your hair up like your cousin its so much cooler. UH NO. LOL. don't think i ever did, never will. haha. never waxed my hair in my life, and gels worse than wax. D: get out of here. my cousin is embarassing sometimes, i find it amusing when people with really short hair with no style to it whatsoever try to do something to it, or people with the ugliest hair try to do something, for example some ugly stupid prick of a white kid tried to copy some other guy and dye his hair blue... honestly.... honestly. some people i just look at and they make me sick but honestly.. i don't want to see his face for the next.. -counts fingers, not enough fingers - counts toes, not enough toes, can i borrow your fingers? your toes? everyone in the whole worlds fingers and toes? NOT ENOUGH. yiuearyhoeag. bleurgh. icky. anyways, ever say something and wonder why did i just say that.. :\ more than likely yes. :L happens to me almost everyday, things just pop out of my mouth that i regret, more regret piles up like a stinking lump of compost. LOL. what a bad example but its first which came to mind which wasn't rude because i'm attempting to reduce swearing. ^.^ there are just some things, those little things that just make you smile yeah? :L even when my day was feeling like crap, i came back and looked at some photos, watched some drama and everythings okay. its okay. 괜찮아요

good news.. its not really good news, my piano exams moved back to sometime in october. i have to practice more now (: