redemption.

i don't think i'll make this post too colourful. sometimes its hard to read yeah. anyways, i have sort of a little break inbetween exams, my next proper ones not til monday, and i can afford to take a little break now. (: exams go from 1st - 14th, effort but i'll live. piano exam on the 11th too, hopefully i'll pass and thats all my academic etc stuff done. :L

you know, have you ever just stopped, sat down somewhere and wondered what another person's doing, thinking? you can never really tell without seeing them, even when you see other people sometimes you can't understand whats going through their head. some people, in certain situations you can tell what they're most likely reactions going to be, but nothing 100% certain. facebook, yes i am referring to facebook, some of those groups are true, sometimes they're so true i have to comment on them :L last one i could think of is being able to sit with your best friend in silence without it being awkward. honestly, i long for a day like that. :\
do you ever think about people which you don't see on a regular basis, not just of the opposite gender, for example i thought i had a good friend at one point but he changed school and now we don't talk at all, ive lost two friends to ruse now. (: the other one, even though i didn't know him that well, he was a great guy.. and right at the end of the year before he left we got to know each other a bit more, yeah we went up together on the year 10 camp bus, and even talked on msn a bit too. which is quite a big thing, most of the time guys don't talk to people of the opposite gender over msn. :\ usually... maybe i'm just stereotyping there, i'm sure some girls talk to their best friends over msn, most guys wouldn't though.. urgh. maybe its just me . who knows. ive been talking to my friends brother over msn, don't think its weird! haha. i'm not some pedophile, its ok, his in year 9 and i played a couple of online games with him. (: i miss those days, seriously. carefree holidays where i could just sit at the computer playing games which completely took my mind off the world, they helped me calm down a little from the roughness of life. :x i think i said this before quite a few times but apparently according to an mX article i read ages ago people which play first person games have more control over their dreams. somebody was trying to argue with me you can't die in a dream.. this isn't inception! anyways, i swear you can, i just respawn like a game :\ or start over in some new place. but i haven't dreamed, not one i can remember for a long long time. its the lack of games. i'm not as enthusiastic, motivated as i use to be. it made me happy and i long for that happiness again x) quite sad isnt it. craving to play online games.. i haven't touched one in months. people say its sad being game addicted, well perhaps it is but the only sad thing is not being able to play. D:

shall i think of another topic? hehh. -thinks. oh yeah i was going to blog about a few of the things my english coaching teacher made me think about, it sort of made me want to do extension english topic navigating the global but if i did do extension english id be doing crime fiction.. my schools lack of choice :\ better than japan though, either way im bad at english. well we were discussing, well pretty much he was discussing how technology has changed our lives, in a more complex view than that, the mobile phone, the internet it allows us to develop and strengthen our stronger ties with friends/family etc. but because of it we have less room for weaker ties with strangers not complete ones, like.. that guy you see every morning and you nod and after some time you'd start saying hi or something. do we need that? i don't think we do. but than he also was talking about how theres less face to face time despite skype... gosh his lame :L well, its true, you get talking about more 'random' things when you talk for a longer time with people, more colloquial and than he started talking about fake smiles... more or less he was trying to say, he always tries to boast about his ex wives and girlfriends and his $1350 shoes. anyways, he was spot on for it ._. fake smiles. nobody sees those genuine smiles anymore, they're hard to see. want to see.


my rooms incredibly brighter now :D put in new lights and it probably increased the light by 3x and it uses less energy, how convenient! haha. :3 love these new lightbulbs, it keeps me awake longer too i think. i've been worrying about a lot of things but i won't blog about them. x) some things need to stay personal.
i have a fascination and envy about how good looking some korean guys :\ wish someone would just pick my clothes for me too, need a stylist. :L maybe if i become rich some day. lee jun ki, kim sang bum, kim hyun joong everyone :x they just have this thing to them, like some girls do, it just makes them attractive.. i'd do anything to look like that. :s guess not everyones blessed.

13 days til happiness. x)