redemption.

the end. its over, all over. - haven't posted for a few days haven't i :\ bleh, nothing much went on, i have tests next week so from after this post -> friday i won't post, shall be studying and i will probably just sit on msn incase someone talks to me and that counts as a break but at the rate it really is going def. nothing. D: gosh im a fucking loner. nobody knows me, went to musical after party yesterday and it was just a waste of my time ok. people which i normally would never even talk to / try to avoid were there... ok . just to give you an idea, jang came along but even so.. i didnt want to follow him everywhere, but still.. bleh. just sitting there sort of cold watching all these stupid white sluts smoke and fucking retards jumping/trying to shuffle to music, practically nothing to drink, and i swear that half the people just pretend to be wasted for the heck of it.
one of the girls said:
girl: hey whats your first name? [to jay]
jay: jay
girl: j what?
jay: uhh... j a y.
girl: OHHH...... hehhh... did you know that in simpsons... homer's middle name is jay too!
everyone: uh.. yeah [me thinking why the fuck would i know that]
girl: whats your last name?
jay: why do you want to know?
girl: is it kay... like J K , haha rowling! -stumbles hey guys... if you saw him rolling we'd be like
j k rowling..
-walks away.
and than some other guy was bright red and went hey cameron... i remember in year 7.. and you said your name was cadmus.. [-thinking to myself .. no i didnt] .. - continues . - walks off.
and the fat gay guy in our year who i told him i hate some time last year, and if you actually knew me i don't use the word hate much, only when something actually makes me feel sick in the stomach, this guy does but i had to be nice when he started crying and everyone was around him going up to me going... do you still hate me? - no forget about it man, its all ok.. what an act. fucking apologising to me for what? if you really cared you'd lose some weight, and don't get me wrong i don't hate all homos its just some like him make me feel sick, keep it to yourself. attention seeking at something like that... sometimes i wonder how big a hypocrite i am. human nature i guess.


yeah well pretty much that was a waste of my time, i didn't even know anyone and i only got 4 hours sleep cus of it. left when my supposed friends left, but they don't even want me there, only one which i can half trust is my best friend now :\ first of all, they don't invite me anywhere, and than the guy i sit next to in class all the time, said why the fuck are you here... fucking think his tough. fucking hell, i swear i wanted to beat the fuck out of everyone and just fucking leave. would've been easy enough, half of them weren't even in their right mind, hating it more as i think about it D: i saw people i have on facebook.. but id put $50 saying they wouldn't recognise me even if someone said my name in their face, let alone just by seeing me. heh, so pretty much waste of time. (: love my life. now i get to study - best part of the day ; lying down on my bed at 2:36 in the morning, how relaxing.

i read an article in the newspaper today about teenagers in the sunday telegraph and it said something about gaming addiction, obsession with appearance to the lengths of taking protein/steroids/growth hormones etc. how true, read through stereotypical teens like that.

-smile cameron. please.