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Archive for 2012
havent blogged in a long time because i dont know what ive been doing with my life. theres no real alterations or complications, just maturing. but honestly, why does this always happens to me, i...
been feeling out of it still. sometimes i think that its better, just not to think about any of it. thinking brings complication and complication brings pain. sometimes i actually feel that im going...
in the end, just turned back to impassive.i think im a little bit of a coward. i always tell myself that i know i can do things but prefer not to, i can tell people anything but they don't need to...
its happening again. i forget to put on my fake face and people think im depressed or angry if i dont have that dumb fake smile on. its too mu...
those lyrics hurt... my heart is weathered, tired from the pain, i thirst for something more than any worldly gain. they try to break me, steal the love you give so i need you more every moment of...
was reading keith's blog and it reminded me of myself lately a little. i've been overthinking everything, digging to deep into what could be, what i think should be, what i actually want and ending...
i dont know what to do with my life now. im at an impasse. everywhere i look im just staring blankly. everywhere i go, i dont know where im really walking. i need to quit looking at my feet and thinking...
i just want to sleep and forget about the world around me. theres really nothing worth living for in it. ive been living for these false illusions of a better future but everything is just a dream....
im in the biggest slump at the moment, its like falling into the ditch in batman.. but i dont even have the motivation to pull myself out. one of the worst feelings is having something and then losing...
theres a lot of things in this world which are hard to distinguish from fantasy and reality. people always perceive things that aren't there, hope for things which aren't real and even when you try...
looking around, looking forward, looking back still. sometimes i think i get too emotional over things, not even proper things. seeing couples actually hurts... seeing pretty people ... etc etc. i...
i really need to break out of this. everything i want is unrealistic. everything i can get doesn't seem enough. everything i have is unappreciated. im just at a stand still with reality. i look left,...
saw the prettiest, cutest.... everything. girl i have ever seen in my life.nothing to say.no girl like that, no car like that, no house like that, no job like that, no future for me. ...
usually theres up and downs but at the moment its just one big down and im not sure when its going to stop. ive tried to trap myself in university but i cant get into it, theres not really anyone in...
i've just been waiting my whole life, just waiting, not chasing, i dont even know what to do. just hoping, can't see it, don't know what else that i can do. don't know why i can't remember, what i thought...
don't know what it is but i'm feeling really constrained at the moment. it's just hard to breath. hard to think. hard to find myself. not feeling right and theres nothing i can do about ...
i've been dreaming a lot lately. i don't really remember much though. yesterday i dreamt i was in korea once again. its sad really, thinking of all the wants, all the needs, all the shoulds and...
three animes that embrace a world i want to live in:sword art onlineclannadkuroko no bas...
you know when you dream everything is just better. lately time has been going fast for me but everything just seems to be going slow. i don't really have any direction or purpose which im heading...
i miss how i used to get pumped from music, i think life was just simpler when i was younger, just simpler and easier in general really. never really worried about anything and everything that even...
its hard to pretend you don't care when everything around you tells you otherwise. its even harder to make yourself keep walking, pretending that you don't care. and its hardest when you're falling...
seoul. i miss it in more ways than anyone can imagine. i was only there for two weeks, barely went out, hundreds of people surrounding me who i couldnt communicate with and was freezing from head...
i was never right with myself from the beginning, ive never been right with myself.. its just been like that for as long as i can remember. but even then time has passed faster than expected. i can't...
dont know when it started but now you're stuck in my head, got my heart racing..
...
its hard to differentiate truth from lies, from the truth you don't want to hear and the truth you need to hear, divided, from the lies you thought were truth and the lies you thought you knew.
lifes...
been living life like a maze, you never know whats around the next corner but you're looking for the end. trying to enjoy it but ever so slightly frustrated at the same time.
i think i don't...
excited.first basketball game in a while, been watching kuroko no basuke/NBA. motivat...
even if you're scared of moving forward, you can't stand still forever. there is no back as time only moves forward. its alright to be scared of the unknown, you don't know what to expect, you don't...
its hard thinking that theres someone worth waiting for. you muster every ounce of energy within you to tell yourself that maybe theres somebody there for you. one in a million. no. not even one and...
these two songs bring back too many memories. aches my heart a little.. if only tears could bring you back to me...&nbs...
sometimes, its just empty inside y'know. i don't find humour in anything, im not smiling, im not frowning. im just not doing anything. sometimes i just blank out a little and then i look back at the...
theres not enough to smile about. no matter how i look at it, im always taken for granted to the point where im looking in the mirror and not even knowing myself. eighteen years of nothing. i know ive...
i think i hold myself accountable for too many things. i keep my responsibility too high, i always look out for others and never take care of myself. everyone i know i would be willing to give more...
you know for the most advanced living organisms on this planet, humans are really simple. people try to complicate themselves but honestly they need to accept simplicity. if you're happy, life is good....
when life hands you hardship, you need the strength to pull through. there is no hope if you don't believe. what hope is there if you can't trust in your friends. what hope is there if you don't even...
i want an awkward encounter. i want something to break me out of the ordinary cycle. i want to be able to want something, to genuinely wake up from th...
its funny how everything comes back on you. i try to get over unrealistic expectations, people are too amazing. kpop stars, jiyeon, hyorin, ailee, BoA, IU, CL... the list goes on. i turn myself to more...
somebody accidently leaned on my leg today, made me remember the value of human touch. its really hard being alone but sometimes its really just meant to be. i can't help but look down on people lately,...
dream high 2 is amazing. jiyeon is really pretty and look ailee and hyorin and omg, they're all just ridiculously cute. makes me feel so incomplete. i look around, they're just my age but their life...
people come in and exit out of your lives like its nothing. theyre nothing. people who don't treat you right have no place in your life. people don't get to spend quality time with that many people during...
when the little hope you had is shattered, all you can do is live a dream.
ps. that picture is indescribably stunni...
sometimes, when the world tells you otherwise, you have to accept it. some things are not meant to be. if you try to hard, it only makes it harder.. its that wave again. that confidence wave crashing...
really pretty. reminds me of somebody. my life is definently pointless right now, it has always been pointless and everything ive done in my life has been pointless and wasted. how many friends have...
kahi is so pretty. i can't believe she's 31. im missing korea more than ever, i think coming back to australia killed me mentally and physical...
when i see something so perfect like this, it only makes me want to go back to korea more.in an ideal world...
i will miss you korea. at times i didn't realise it, as the saying goes, you don't realise you've lost something until its gone. i knew i'd love korea and now i'm back in australia, every moment here...
everything just seems like its wearing me down. nobody helps lighten the load, it only gets heavier and its getting harder to keep standing strong. the only thing left are merely dreams, hope... the...
when you've come to this point, all you can do is stand hopeless and alone pitying yourse...
the pain you left me, the pain you made, it will stay forever. whenever i think of that time, all the times that you lost my trust it just stirs me up and renews that pain. people aren't worth the effort....
love doesn't die over time or age or anything else.
it dies from lack of effort, insecurities, fear. your weakness...
