redemption.

ehehe :3 YAY.
all my exams are over til the first two days of next term, which i have to study while overseas but YAY. :D i get to bludge for the next few days before i go overseas~ i'm in such a peaceful mood hah. its all so quite, all i can hear is my computers soft humming and the happiness oozing out of me? ahhaha.
anyways, maths all done with! jap mostly done with ~ not going to talk about it anymore, until i get the test back, because its all done, talking about it nows pointless.
i got called a final fantasy character and an anime character twice in one day. D: dam, well last night and this morning, thats still within 24 hours so i count it as a day.
my cousin was like omg.. you look like an anime character... etc etc. than he was teasing me going oh you want me to buy a fat sword like cloud, they're only $260, ill seriously get you one. and i was like FINE, get me one that would be awesome, and than he avoided it just keep on teasing me D: going oh with your fringe like that and your piercings. im like tsch ;s
and thann, the next day ( this morning ) my hair was 10x different and i still get called the same, etc etc same thing but than he starts going 'bam firaga etc. :L and if you dont know what that is thats the big fire boom explosive spell in final fantasy' and than -slash slash . ahha. i guess its ok and someone also went oh why dont you dye your hair blah blah blah. ..
ok i'll stop getting overexcited with the teasing, which i took as a compliment (: anime characters are bloody awesome . :D
i think im still slightly obsessed with cloud.

YAY. (: 4 day weekend, get over the crappyness of the week.

first i had senior dance D: it was worse than expected, i didn't know most of the people, and i didn't want to talk to the rest. they were doing some terrible dancing and the music was terrible. i could go on for ages about it but its not worth that many words. (:

ok next i want to rage at my english marks.. i got 15/20 for my creative writing because the fucking teacher was like, huh going all the way to the basketball finals and fucking winning the game? hows that a journey? HUH> fucking watch more than a game ahhhhhhhhh. D: dam i hate my english teacher.
what made it worse was the speech marker, the other english teacher, i can deal with one english teacher hating me, but a freaking teacher writing bullshit is just too far. 18/25. her comments was 'i will discuss' is unsophisticated don't use this. and i didnt even use that in my speech! ? HUH D: god damit, i didnt even say it , her next was ' define what a journey is' ? WERENT YOU LISTENING AHH> that was my whole first paragraph which took up a whole minute. are you deaf? i should just like rage against the teachers, write a note to some higher up and protest against the bullshit. but i dont think i can i ripped it all up and put it in the bin. :x
anyways, we're doing othello now which i actually did in coaching so i might do slightly better in that, if i cant get full marks for everything else, im screwed for life. everyone else was like oh i got 92% overall. what did i get? 70%. .... close to it anyways. who knows if its just my class, doesnt matter, the rankings are overall. im probably like 100/130 or something D: i give up.

i have concluded. i would put money that i have taken the most basketball shots in the last 4 years than anyone else in my whole school in my year or below.

im starting to dream about basketball again :\ its those dreams which make you really happy while your having them, but make you feel shit when you realise they aren't real.

today deserves two pictures. (: oh, i havent done that for a while. hah, well i woke up bright and early for morning class all ready for my english speech :L well not really, i basically forgot about it until i was packing my bag because i fell asleep at 10:20 last night trying to watch the end of house :\ anywaysss, i had a dream!
well, it started with me on a cruise boat and i was just innocently walking along looking at all those happy waves ~ heh. and than i saw my basketball school teacher whos a pretty grumpy looking old man and he was like ' CAMERON, wheres your jersey!' and im like ' [-smile] here you go sir!' [-walks along] and he just smiling there :L which is very rare! anyway its better from my perspective. i kept on walking and i came to a cabin and i walked inn and i saw kathy, trevor and william just sitting there doing work and im like 'HELLO. [-slides inbetween trevor and william.] ... so. what you doing' and they were like 'SHH CAMERON, we're trying to work' D: so i just sat there, and likeee started leaning over and rolled backwards and started rolling on the ground and my earrings fell out and i was like WTF. D: and i got them and went to the bathroom and im like OMG D: i dont even know how to put these in :L and and and i was like OMG kathy help me, and she tried and i was like OW WHAT THE HELL :L where did the hole in my ear go ! AHHHH. ' ' ----- wakes up..
hah well than i was like OMG , i must text someone. - picks up phone, - kathy hm... that might sound a bit weirdish, --- i dont have williams number, THAT LEAVES TREVOR! so i was just texted him and i knew its ok because his weird enough already ahaha. :) nah, his probably use to me being strange like that. oks that was my first 5 min of waking up! oh how long haha.

well next i just did usual blah blah, got on train etc etc. bus, walked to school, got to class, listened to speeches did mine. and everyone when i finished kept on saying ' nice tie [-smile]' and i know my ties nice! its so nice and long hehe :3 well it was a bit too long, but i think it kept their mind off my speech but got their attention! all planned, and i did lion king anyway even though the teacher told me i couldnt because im rebel! LOL. nah, i just really couldnt think of any other one and i love lion king, and in my opinion it was seriously the best related text i could do with my thingy (the kite runner).
-yup well, than i had jap - eco - back to english and than a free. oh happy days (: went with david and jeff and ate thai, thats the highlight of my day? :) david managed to balance the spoon on the edge of the cup without touching any of the other edges. oh how pro we sat there amazed for about 5 minutes. haha.
well than maths - chem. and my days over, - rush home ignoring everybody else. and got home! waste my time away on the computer and thought i should go play some basketball and i ended up looking at the sky for about 20 minutes instead of playing , so i ended outside for about 1 and a half hours. or more :L well its all ok. had ashower ~ dinner and now im here. OK . (:

my happy day summed up - its happy right? :)

what a week! well not really ;o im pretty much out of it the whole week and a half, i had to break my junk food ban because my parents brought home pizza... wow. it doesnt matter, i measured myself before i ate, i said if i saw any noticeable weight difference i wouldnt eat it, but i didnt budge a bit, so it obviously does nothing and it sucks my energy :\

so.. thats that, and than well on thursday i had creative writing and i wrote 5 pages in 40 min about some strange thing which was really bad, because i was out of it. im embarrassed, i have to make it up in my english speech on monday but i haven't even started that properly im going to do lion king as the related text even though the teacher told me not to. i dont like her, i dont value her opinions and i shall do what i want ok. stupid bitch. ): its the best movie i can think of that relates to the stupid text. >>" who gives a crap if its a 'kids' movie its very deep and i love it. one of my favourite movies of all time (: not including anime ofc. hah.

anyways, im watching xmen now and i guess ill finish my speech tomorrow, i was hoping people would say something interesting to me on msn to brighten up my day, but everyones been out of it esp with me. oh i have senior dance on thursday so yup. i shall wear whatever and i dont have any bling for the 'bling it on' theme. oh how lame. :L

first of all, i have to say that i am pretty much lost these last ... 5 days i'd say. i'm not particularly sure what im doing, whats the point of doing anything im doing and i dont realise when time skips from say 3-6pm. i dont know what ive been doing inbetween :\ say today. i was supposedly doing my english creative writing and i think i actually totally blanked out not like those people which say oh i blanked out , i like actually blanked out ;x i dont think anyone understands. i was just pointlessly writing, i sat there staring at the stimulus for ages and than i started a paragraph or two another 30 min or so passed and it took surprisingly long to finish a story which was absolutely useless. i printed it anyway, ill actually be surprised if i could get about 50%. sure i had a few nice sentences, but its like putting completely opposite and strange things together. :\ well im not going to send it to anyone anymore. just hand it in, get told its shit, and than go into my exam on thursday and come out with a 50% get screwed over and ... yeah :x i think im bad at english i dont know what it is. i think i realised im no good at it when my teacher last year gave me a 16/20 for my english assignment which i spent a tremendous amount of effort on and i think it was actually like the best piece ive ever written. ): and i got a 16/20 and than i hand in my reflection on it which took 5 minutes and she gives me 10/10 for that? is it the teachers dont actually see where people put effort into and just say ' you need to put more time into this ' those people dont deserve to be teachers. they should think like i think, well not how i think how the student they're marking is thinking. or at least try to sympathise with how and what they are writing. i think that making all these complicated things which have actually deeper meanings is stupid, actual authors do not think like that. im pretty sure they just blurt out what their instincts tell them to on the page, perhaps go over it but not turn it into a complicated piece which needs huge analysis on it.

anyways, onto saturday, i had coaching from 11-5 and in maths.. i was pretty much clueless, i just went through the paper copying it from the board and my brain did not absorb anything in chemistry i finally realised the diff between ionic and covalent and metallic bonding however i almost fell asleep. all the girls in those classes really put me off :\ i just sit in the corner of the classroom going uhh.. and its pretty lonely in chemistry but by far the best is english. the teacher keeps me attentive although he is a strange guy he actually knows where the marks are for english and how to get them and he knows it back to front. his writing horrendous but i like that class. and the teacher laughing at me for saying the woman in the movie was 29 ... mm made me happy that i could at least make somebody actually laugh. not those, haha just to break the moment laughs, or haha because you dont know what else to say. i do that on msn quite a bit too i realised. i cant tell when im in happy or neutral mode anymore. i dont get into sad mode, not in public anyways. :) im past that stage! even if it took a while. (: i wouldnt mind sitting in that room for the whole schooltime, except maybe japanese because i like japanese even though im not great at it. i use to be better.. i dont know ay.. every since things became more complicated ive been losing track of all the concepts in all subjects. maybe my brain just cant follow such complicated things. i literally have to go to the back of the book, get the answer still cant get it and than go ask a teacher , i get it on to the next question and im stuck again. ): in economics i havent learnt anything for 6 weeks and i think my economics assignment looks good but it really isnt that great particularly the part i wrote. aishh. D:

i have been good, no junk food so far. and ill keep it that way despite all the temptations. its just that the main problem is my house doesnt have any normal food. i go around looking for something and i cant eat anything. ive been mainly eating toast/cereal for the past week. not that thats a bad thing, i like it. (: okks.. and i really dislike it when people pressure me to do something i really dont want to do, i wish they could read my mind sometime or .. at least understand what im thinking but i wouldnt want them to read my mind completely they'll probably get freaked out and not want to talk with me with all the messed up things in my head. ;s

to end on a happier note.. actually there is none. (: have a happy march.
watching all those pro basketballers play use to make me happy, but its
sort of sad now :x knowing that i can never dunk it no matter how hard i
try. and even if i tried my hardest i couldnt make it that far because of yeah :\
all these people going oh cameron your a pro bballer, oh your tank, oh your
smart. im not ok. fuck . you dont know how much im not.

i love compliments.

ok, when cameron says he promises something or says it in a very serious manner he means it. (: even if you cant tell, so from today i shall stop eating junk food for at least a month. that is because.. i saw myself in the mirror and it made me feel sick ;x so i shall not eat any fatty foods of any sort, i shall stick to basic meat/vegetables, cereal and toast for all my meals. (: no snacks! not even biscuits ok. starting from march 1 - at least april 1!
good job cameron. (:ngah. makes me feel better complimenting myself, its a substitute for all those people which want to say it to me but are too shy to. ;D

ok now to talk about what my stupid piano teacher did, ok. so today i have a piano lesson, and yes it is the worst part of my week, and i went to the piano lesson for make up i normally have it on tuesdays well i went today and oh look cameron sorry i have another student at the time i told you to come earlier... stupid bitch made me wait in the other room for 30 min and than i go have a 30 min lesson and my dad comes in after that and rages the fuck out of her so i get to leave instead of her expecting my dad to wait in the car for 30 min (: i like.
well to make it worse i have it again tomorrow. -sigh.

now to talk about something completely different. some people say , oh whys it matter whether a guys hair is ugly, or his face is fucked up . well i care, people go: why do you care about your hair? your a guy? only girls care about your hair. my god, i hate 99% of stereotypes. oh your white so your tall, oh your white so your good at english, oh your asian so your good at maths, fuck no ok . im not white or asian and im not good at anything, not all eurasians are good looking and fuck off. ok (: that just reminded me of my english story i had to write aboutt... nevermind. ;D
oh i also had peer support today, and i really dont like them, i hating them more and more. annoying little kids keep on talking to me. they're like oh cameron i added you on facebook why didnt you accept. NO SHIT I DIDNT ACCEPT. GOD D: my . i think i should calm down. (: im not even angry, i just feel like looking angry so it makes it look like its something important that people should read! hah, i have a bit more i am thinking about but i shall never blog what im thinking about what im thinking. (: ngah, got you curious? ;D

oh and i was looking on facebook the other day and found some girl saying my brothers gay! she just wants that to be true so she can have him all to herself, my brother the mood swinging pimp (: im envious of him sometimes :L
oh and if you didnt notice, aidan is my brother. just thought i should include that for some dumb person who didnt realise what i was trying to say.